This week has been the worst week of my life for several reasons, but this post is for the number one reason why this week suck.

Ok on Thursday night after Drama practice (so around 5:50) my dad tells me that one of my friends from elementry school (he went to clifton I went to lanier) got into his parents gun closet and shot himself and he died.

After my dad told me this I immediently went into the 4 stages of greif (denial, anger, mourning, and acceptence) I denied that this happened for about an hour then I called one of my best friends, tory, and I was really ticked off when I called her, but that didn't last long cause' about 5 minutes later I started to break down crying, and asking her all these really difficult phylisofical questions that she couldn't answer. And I have been in mourning sense last night.

And in case any of yall were wondering why I didn't call my boyfriend is cause' he is kind of a softy and love him for it but what would he have done with the blubbering mess that I was, and still am? I don't know I just wanted to get myself reoriented with life before I called him.

I just found out that the wake is on Sunday 5-8 and there is a roseary that starts at 7.

thanks for your support, your truly,
lyra

Love...

LOVE....
These are the Top Ten signs that show you are in Love!
10. Time is an eternity when you're without them
it drags on and on that is why i must sleep in science
9. Time stops when you're with them
it just stops when i see his face...
8. The thought of them makes you shiver
it soo yummy...
7. The sound of them makes you smile
his voice is like velvet
6. When seeing them, you can't see anything else
there's walls
5. You start to listen to sappy love songs
there not sappy
4. You actually enjoy sappy love songs
oh snap
3. The smell of them makes you see fireworks
he delicous....i memorized his smell........
2. You find yourself smiling constantly
my face hurts.....
1. You'd do anything, even die, for them
sry but no i would be so depressed that i would go into silent mode and cry myself to sleep everynight.......but if he went away i would do almost anything to have him back


oh....my....god.....
i am in love..........

Haiku's!!!<33

All of these Haiku's have the '5,7,5' format

11/16/08

His warmth surrounds me,
every piece of me smiling
when he hugs me tight

Silence, forbidden
when it is not filled with you
Lonely deep inside

The sun shining through
the windw, it is warm but
cold, how can this be?

I hope he likes ME
because I am different, not
the same that he sees

I sit on the ground
and watch leaf by leaf fall down
what do they feel now?

What shakes you, down to
the core, what scares you, out of
your mind, what is it.

More Haiku by Me

All of these Haiku's have '5, 7, 5' format

11/6/08

White light shining through
patterns along the blank wall
brighteding my day

running through the woods
on a cold cold winter night
what was I thinking

Winter freezes trees
like hate freezes the young heart
And turns your love cold

A spring bud opens
like a rediscovered love
in the morning mist

The red blossom bends
and drips its dew to the ground
like a tear it falls

Haiku Poem by Me

All of these Haiku Poems are 'real' Haiku Poems you know the 5, 7, 5 thing and all....

11/6/08

Moths go flying by
They are beautiful
Fluttering around


Falling to the ground
I watch a leaf settle down
In a bed of brown

It's cold- and I wait
for someone to shelter me
to take me from here

The flowers reached
the sky, as on grass I lie
Such a peaceful place

Branches stretching out
to grab the sunsets colours
Night is approaching

Ft. Worth

I am NOT going to make this posdt sound sad.... I now i guess you are wondering what?? what is there to be sad about???

Well yesterday, friday, just wasn't my day i guess. I got my phone taken away at lunch, the memorial middle ((my boyfriends school)) dance was that night and I couldn't go cause' i was going to ft. worth/dallas for a wedding. and i am REALLY bummed about that...

when my dad found out that I got my phone taken away he had to go up to the adminasators office and get it back for 15 bucks.... and I am going to have to pay him back!!! ((okkk i guess that is fair....ish...))

and now i am in Ft. Worth and it is like 40 degrees outside and i am freezing my butt off.... AND i STILL have homework todo....

then my favorite day of the week is sunday ((cause that is the day that i normally get to see colton)) and i am missing THAT cause my dad HAS to go golfing..... ((in my head)) i was like DAMN IT YOU CAN TO THAT IN HOUSTON!!!!!! and even if i did say that he would just get all huffy and puffy......

So as you can probably see i have a lot of reasons to be mad/upset rite now....

lyra......

Today has been a good so far english was long and boring as usual.

GSG was pretty cool though because all my GSG people love me!^-^ gosh they are soooo adorable!!!

anyway.... drama was awsome we actually did somthing today, we got farther in the script it was really cool.

Science, this is the class normally ruins my whole day my teacher "Dr." Fong ((yeah she is a girl......surpirising i know....)) she is soooo boring she just stands there and talks really slow and in monotone!!! it drives me CrAzY so i normally sleep through her class

Leadership!! this is one of my favorite classes EVER!!!! today we did this relaxation thing, we listen to "Every Day" by Carly Comanndo it is a really good song.....anyway....I meditated it was really nice and peaceful =) i loved it.

OH OHH!!! there is something else!!!! there is this knew kid in my class ((i swear he looks REALLY!!!!! emo)) and he looks emo and A LOT of my friends are like OMG!!!! he is soooo hot!!!! and i am like are you just saying that or are you desperate cause u really can't think that!!! i mean he TIES his VANS!!!! what self respecting guy would do that!?!?!?!

anyway that is alll for right now......
lyra

((oh gosh i am listening to AOL radio on "halloween" and it is playing this REALLLY wierd song called Halloween 1963 by John Carpender.......CREEPPY!!!!!!))

10-11-08

it is saturday. I want it to be over so it could be sunday, then I would see colton, and all my buddies....but i also have to face the truth.... me and colton aren't going to be dating forever, and there will be a day when my friends stop coming to church. Although I can not see ether one of these days in the near future I just need to always tell myself the truth. even if the truth isn't very good....-

10-9-08

whenever I am around my mother it seems like i want to burst into tears not because I want to spill all my problems to her... it is because she is the CAUSE to most of my problems. she has brainwashed my dad into thinking her way. I look forward to the day when she finds out the truth.....about everything....

10-4-08

I am soo siked about tomorrow! I called my friend tory and she said that colton couldn't stop talking about how much he missed me at the game on friday!! Isn't that sweet??? oh you know what was really funny? Jared (tory's boyfriend) sent me a text message that said Colton is looking at cheerleaders. I burst out laughting, cause i was wondering what JARED was doing at that time....probably trying to avoid getting hit by tory.....you had to be there.....it was a REALLY funny movie in my head.....

10-3-08

why does it seem like nobody understands why I am in pain? Every time I call one of my friends she thinks that my boyfriend broke up with me ((even though she knows the truth)), and I can't call colton because we come from two different worlds his family is.... well-off, and I am in middle class, and trust me it makes a difference. I am sooo tired I probably should finish getting ready for bed cause race for the cure is tomorrow

lyra out

oh and

HAPPY

AUTUMN

EQUINOX

Wut up my peeps!!!!!

Hello!! To my peeps who ether a) have electricity b) have a genorator or c) are staying at somebodys house how does have power!!! In case you were wondering I am option b.

Here are the reasons that I am going mental:

1. I haven't seen my boyfriend in two weeks and counting....
2. it is freaking HOTTTT!!!!!
3. i don't have power......
4. i STILL have homework todo....
5. most of my friends don't have power
6. my boyfriend has power ((and if you didn't know his family is rich. the rich ppl get served first that is why this annoys me))
7. my mom is thinking about blocking ALL my texting that means incoming AND outgoing

and for those really random people who are like hermits and don't watch tv.... IKE CAME, IKE DESTROTED, AND IKE LEFT.... ok i have to admit that was funnnn...... more stuff LATER cause i am supossed to be working on homework!!!

later dudes

lyranesssss

To clear up somethings...

Okay, I have this feeling that all the people that read my blog strongly dislike my father, and I just wanted to clear somethings up.

That was a long time ago I am a different person now. My dad was going through some tough times to, and he has changed also. But no matter how many times he yelled at me I still love him because he is my father, and I will always forgive him.

And now I here are some reasons how I got out of my problem

1. I have FANTASTIC friends that will always be there for me
2. I believe in something. I am not going to tell you that you have to believe in god (I am a methodist ((it is a type of christain))), but you should believe in SOMETHING. and I strongly believe that god saved my life.
3. Talk to somebody, I know it seem like that is what everybody tells you to do if you got problems, but it helps. And I will be the first to admit it, I have a therapist.
4. Listen to HAPPY or UPLIFTING music. I don't know way but this helped me.
5. Do something you love to do, it makes you feel happy inside.

Okay that is really all I got, and if you have someways to make yourself feel happy please feel free to comment!!!

Oh! dang I forgot one!! yoga... love yoga.... and for me it helps muchly

Live.Laugh.Love.

lyra

Now on a lighter note!

ok since we got that really depressing "nugget of info" out of the way. Time for some happier news! I have a boyfriend! ok yeah he is one year younger then me but he is taller then me. I meet him a couple months ago and about one week ago he admitted he liked me.

He has bleach blonde hair, about two inches taller then me, and he is really sweet but he gets really nervous around girls he says stuff that just pops into his head. Trust me some of the things that he thinks up and just plain jibirish, but in a cute way.

My best friend (Tory) likes his best friend (Joey), Joey knows but he doesn't think she really means it which is really depressing.

Well now I think all you people that read this blog should be happy now, because I wrote something depressing, and now I wrote something happy. so YEAHH!!!

until later...
lyra

Mon. Jul. 7th 10:15pm

Wow, I haven't wrote in a while... ANYWAY! As you may know I am at Camp of Champs it is this leadership camp thing that all the homeroom leaders have to go to. It is really fun actually. I just got back from the dance. My two fav songs that they played where Pop, Lock, and Drop It and The Anthem by Pit Bull (Pop, Lock, and Drop It isn't by Pit Bull...) And tomorrow (tuesday) is a "health day" which means we get to go rock-climbing, yoga, basketball, and volleyball.

Oh! I just remembered we did this trust thing where you tell what happened to you that life is not perfect, so on that note I am going to say that I have somthing to tell you but I want to get to a computer before I tell you....

AACCKKKK!!!! I don't know if I can do this!!! Oh gosh I forget that I would even tell you this.... Oh god I can't believe I said I would tell you this.... maybe later ok?

lyra.....

Sunday, July 6th, church

Random things that I wrote on the bulleton...

Melissa Maher good prayer person

Kyle Comer, classical guitarist this guy is good

Sermon will be done by Bob Johnson: Why does Jim (my pastor Bob is like the vice pastor or somthing...) always leave. Is somthing wrong or is he thinking about joining another church?

I don't like that Bob's 'To be or not to be that is the question.' In the sermon. 'To be restored or not to be restored.' I hate the fact that he took a suside question into part of a joke line in the service. It destroyedthe meaning and the depth of feeling in that line

yeah that is it....
lyra

Around 10:00pm on Thursday June somthing

So everyone always asks me 'do you have a AIM.' And i was always like no sorry... But now I have a AIM! I am happpy! and here is the catch... my parents don;t know that I have one! Do I have to keep it hidden from them. Which I don't think should be that hard but I really don't want to lie to them about it.

Now for somthing totally of topic TORY CAN COME TO GARNERWITH ME THIS FRI-MON!!!!

Okay now I am really tired, I have to go to bed now, Good night.
lyra

2:24pm (that same LONG ago...in june..)

What has happened since I last wrote...

I got a AT&T Yahoo! IM thingy

Tory hasn't called back , and she is the person that I am taking camping with me this weekend (fri-mon.)

This guy that I used to know from elementary school, because his dad and my dad are treasurers for my neighborhood, and I have he has gotten cuter.

Still nothing packed.

And the camper is up and drying out .

Now I have to 'at least try yo get something packed' (qoute is from my father....*round of snaps*)
lyra

oh yeah the day I wrote this in really time was Thursday June somthing if that helps...

1:05pm (MANY days ago....in June...)

I am packing to go to Garner and the reason why I am not on tbe computer is because my dad is gaurding it like a hawk to make sure I don't get on.

As you may already know my friend Paloma has found my blog. I am not sure what I am going to do, but for now I have choosen to keep my blog. Iam warning you it might not be as interesting as before because my friend knows where my blog is.

So yeah... My dad is about to come back inside to make sure that I am packing not 'goofing-off' as he most charmingly puts it

signing off!
lyra

Summary of my Day and the Future

Okay well as it turns out my parents don't want me taking my computer anywhere as long as it is unprotected. So my dad tells me that Mom bought some software that is the protection stuff. I was like Okay lets plug it in then go to a hotspot. My dad said no we can't because your mom wants to be here when we instal the software.

We went to the library anyway it was a really sort trip, I got to new mangas. Then we went to go pick up mom at the massage person's house. And THEN we went to the Taste of Texas for father's day dinner thing... I REALLY want to be a vegetarian so being at a steak house was kind of hard, but I ordered a salad and tortilla soup

When we came home we watched 'The Matrix', and if I was brave enough and was ever put in this position then I think the most COOLEST last words when a guy is holding a gun to your head is, "the spoon is not real." Isn't that the most frawsome last words??? (You probably won't get it if you haven't watched the matrix... It is a REALLY cool movie).

And I probably won't be able to write all next week Sunday-Saturday, because I am going on a mission trip called 'Summit'. I will write in a journal then write it all on here. I did today like it was so that you could get a hang of how it is going to look like after I come back from 'Summit'.

~Live.Laugh.Love~
lyra

3:24 pm

Yes! I am out of there! We are speeding trying to get mom to her massage person. And my dad is going to take me to the library!

Why am I so happy you ask? Because the library has Wi-Fi! (i think...) and I also like to read....


~This post is a copy of a piece of paper that I wrote the original post on. The time that I wrote the original post is the title~

2:14 pm

I took a lot of pictures with my phone and now I have a bunch of pictures of Beijing on my phone because the book that I took pictures of is called Beijing (then it has some chinese symbols that most probably mean Beijing).



~This post is a copy of a piece of paper that I wrote the original post on. The time that I wrote the original post is the title~

1:40 pm

Okay, I am in the tax person's office, and we are talking about my grandparents, and how they are old, and how they need a person to take care of them.

The tax person has been to China a lot, I want to ask him about it, but the meeting has already begun, and they are talking about MY taxes.



WOW!!! It just started raining out of a semi-blue sky.



I think the tax guy is getting nervous about me writing stuff down. Well, one of my many carrier dreams is that I kind of want to be a F.B.I. spy or something like that.


~This post was copyed from a piece a paper that I wrote the original on. The time that I wrote is the title.~

1:25 pm

Oh gosh I am sooo going to take a picture of my handwriting because it is sooo messy. It looks horrible.



~This post was copyed from a piece a paper that I wrote the original on. The time that I wrote is the title.~

1:10 pm

Today, myb dad woke me up at the unholy hour of 8:00 am because I need to practice getting up at 'summit'. I am like when I get there I will wake up early, but right now I need to catch up on my sleep. Then my dad had a nervy spaz because I was 'talking back to him.

Right now I am in the car with my parents going to the person who does their taxes. So it is really hard to write because my dad REALLY needs to get his shocks fixed.



~this post is copyed from a peice of paper that I used to write on. The time that I wrote it is the title.~

Now that I think about it...

It isn't 'One less post' because since I posted the post that told you that I was deleting the Ummm post. Which makes it the same amount of posts!! Right???

And on a even MORE confusing note, THIS post now makes it one MORE post!!!! HAHAHA!!!! I am hilarous!!!

Oh, and the pervert thing bothered you I am sorry I am just tired...

And some more sad news I have a friend who is looking for this blog, and if she finds it I might have to delete the blog, BUT I will save all the posts and put them on my NEW blog*.

Do you know those books that is like the diary of a english girl named Georgia Nicolson, the author is Louise Rennison?? If you have NO idea what I am talking about then go look it up online. Anyway!! I am uber-exited about her new book!!! I think it is call 'Love is a trousered thing'**. Oh!! Did you know that they are coming out with a movie to?? It is called 'Angus, Thongs, and Full-Frontal Snogging' (which is the first book).

I have to go because my dad just came back from walking my dog, and I am not technicly supossed to have a blog, because of BLAH BLAH BLah blah blah......



*BUT I don't HAVE a new blog and I am NOT deleting this one because my friend has not found this one yet^
**Yes, 'trousers' as in 'pants'
^if you want a better explaination then comment, and I will tell you.

One less post...

I know I said that I NEVER would delete any post (okay maybe I didn't say that to yall', but I promised myself that), but I am going to delete the post Urrmmmm..... because well it is TO embarassing...

and if some of the 166 people that visit my blog look at I have a message for you...

YOU PERVERTS GO FIND YOURSELF A KNEW HOBBIE!!!

and if you are really just a nice innocent person in all this then the above doesn't apply to you...

Boat Worries

Today, my dad gave me a big scare. When we tryed to crank up the boat today... IT WOULDN'T START!! So I start freaking out, then my dad says that if we can't get the boat running then we can't go tubing and skiing Monday even though we promised all those people that I invited to my birthday party that we would.

So of course I start freaking out more.

Ever year that we take the boat out something is wrong with it. It always is, I have come to expect that, but that doesn't mean I can't freak out because it is three days before my birthday.

Anyway, so the boat is broken. My dad knows this really great boat guy named Jake Stone or somthing like that...

You can come to him with any boat problem, and he will find out what's wrong with it and fix it, and you probally won't have a problem with anything he fixed. So we can just run over there and get the boat fixed right up, right?? Wrong, this guy is a very well known boat fixer-upper person, and it is a friday, people want there boats for the weekend to go fishing or whatever, and it is getting warmer, and warmer weather = more people going out on the water.

So my dad asked one of the guys that work there, and he said, "On a friday!?!?!?" I said please, and I wasn't wearing anything depressing, and the dude kind of knew my father. So he said, "*sigh* Alright."

And that is how we got a very good boat person to look at our boat.

We waited around at the shop for about 30 minutes trying to figure out what was wrong with the boat (and apparently my dad has some pretty wierd stuff going wrong with the boat), and finally they figured out what the problem was, and I was all hyper, they finally found the problem I am going to have my birthday party as planned, it was arounf 2:00 pm. The guy said, "Well if you come back at 5:00 pm we SHOULD have it fixed." Cue hopes of a perfect birthday party crashing, burning, and becoming all deformed.

I was thinking three hours!!! That is forever!!! And yall' close at 6:00 pm!!!

So we waited, and waited around at the house for what seemed like eternity.

It is finally 5:00 pm, the moment of truth has arrived.... We pull into the parking lot, my dad looks around and says, "the still have us in the shop." Cue big loud earth shattering shrieks right here that I didn't say out loud.

So we waited for another 30 minutes, and finally a hear the window shaking roar of a boat engine, I could have jumped up and made-out with the guy who fixed it (but that would be beyond gross because the guy was like 40, and I don't roll like that...).

And me and my dad are getting out of the parking lot, and the car suddenly leans to the right, the guy told my dad to get out of the car, and the guy is pointing a telling my dad that there is somthing wrond with the right trailer tire.

Oh no, here we go again!!!!!

ugly dolls

you can either go to http://www.uglydolls.com/ or just look at these...

1st Post of June

Okay, this is going to be a very short post.... so I am just going to get right to the point

MY BIRTHDAY PARTY WAS.....

THE FIRST POST OF JUNE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YEAH GO CRAZY!!!!!!!

Okay, I am done now.... Have a nice night

My Birthday Party!!

My birthday party is almost here!!! It is going to be June 8th (6:00 pm)- June 9th (5:oo/6:oo pm ish)!!!!!!!!!!! I am sooo exited!! I am having 5 friends over Paloma, Elyse, Christina, Caroline, and Audrey.

On sunday, we are going to play DDR, eat hot dogs/hamburgers and cake!!!, open presents, and stay up and just hang out for awhile. Then on monday we are going to wake up at 8:00 am (ish) and get ready to go, then leave and head towards CLEARLAKE!!! Because my dad has a boat and we are going tubing, and skiing IT IS GOING TO BE NINE KINDS OF FFFUUUNNN!!!!!

Here is what I want for my birthday:

1. Ugly dolls/ugly doll stuff (if you don't know what a 'ugly doll' is google it!!!)
2. Gift Cards: I-tunes, Starbucks, Hot Topic, Aeropostale
3. Nitendo DS (from my parents of course, I wouldn't want to ask my friends for this)

My birthday is not really sunday or monday, it is on June 16th. I am having it on sunday and monday because I am not going to be here for my birthday, I am going to be in someplace on this mission trip thing for my church called 'summit'.

I AM SOO EXITED!!!! I CAN HARDLY WAIT!!!!

~live.laugh.love~

lyra

The new profile photo

I am not 'emo' and I am not 'goth', I am this strange out of place mix of goth and emo and light and bubbly.

I have these 'fases' were I am more goth for a period of time, and then I am bubbly for another period of time. Normally something causes me to go from fase to fase. Like there is this guy I really hate and he is comeing down the hallway. If I was laughing my face will instantly chang into a stone cold wall of hate, and when he is gone I might return a bit normal but not totally, it will take me around a half hour to snap out of it. Do you see what I am saying or do you just think I am crazy? Oh, well....

Today was kind of a big crash for me, I had a 18 inch long tube of pure sugar yesterday and today was kind of the crash day. So I am not that hyper today, I basicly did nothing besides eat, sleep, breath, and watch TV. So I am sorry if I seem a bit slow today, because that is because I am...

Okay.... Good-night yall...

Long-Time No Chat

Wow, umm... it is been a long time since I have wrote. Well this is what has happened since I last wrote.

At Amy's Bat Mitzvah Rick and Summer were making-out, and they didn't even know each other. (Summer kissed Rick) Now everybody thinks that Summer is even a bigger slut then she was before. And I don't even know if that is true but you yeah......

I started arguing to a sub about the dress code because I felt like it. And I won the argument.

I found that I was more popular then I thought, because A LOT of people wanted to sign my yearbook.

The school year ended. Me and some of my friends went to Borders then to Paloma's house (one of my friends)

I learned that Paloma had a two day crush on this guy named Micheal Portal. Who was one of the really popular guy's at my school.

And 5 seconds ago I just learned that my Dad told me the wrong new e-mail address, and I gave that wrong e-mail address to all my friends. *sigh* Now I am going to have to send this big e-mail telling everybody what my really e-mail address is...

Okay folks, have a good day!

Shopping!!

Okay, I just came back from shopping (at Ross, they have good stuff there) and I got two new dresses and two new pairs of high-heels (the second pair isn't really as high-heely as the first) for my friend Amy's Bat Mitzvah. Because I was not about to weir the same thing that I wore for Aubrey's Bat Mitzvah to Amy's Bat Mitzvah because you just don't do that...

Anyway, I like shopping as much as the next girl even though I am not a girly-girl, I still like stuff. I know you are not supposed to be attacted to material things. But if we weren't then most marriages wouldn't work. So be glad!

Oh, and I also have the funniest pictures that I need to show you. I had this Drama project right? So me and my partner Ariam were supposed to be zombies, so made the make-up look like I have a black eye, and alot of scars. I have three pictures. And I don't know exactly when I will put them up but they are really cool!!!

Have a good night, drive safely, drink responsibly, AND MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A SOBER DRIVER BECAUSE YOU MOST PROBABLY WILL GET WASTED!!!
~Live. Laugh. Love~
Lyra

Late Night Confessions

I am just so nervous about everything. About school, about tests, about my social life, and even about the dream of ever having a boyfriend.

Lets focous on the last part, about me wishing to have a boyfriend. My first boyfriend was in 3rd grade and my first kiss (like 3 ish and if you don't know what '3' means then go to wikipedia and type ing 'snogging scale') was with that same boyfriend, and when I dumped him I haven't had a boyfriend sense.

Sense we have the basics covered I am going to go more in depth.

I have lots of friends that have guys staring at them, somtimes even follow them places. Yeah, I had one guy come up to me and start talking to me in a different language (and later I found out that he was trying to ask me out) but I even think that was a joke because the group of friends he was with were laughing there heads off when he came up to me. And all the other people that have asked me out were just joking nothing was for real. So it makes me think, does every single guy veiw me as a joke? Am I ever going to be anything other than that crazy ADHD girl? All I want is some guy that is NOT my father to like me. I want a guy to come up to me and ask me out and be SERIOUS about it.

I have a friend who was in a relationship with a guy for 2 MONTHS!! And I can't even get a guy for a day?!? I makes me take all the little comments that people have degrated me with and look at them and ask myself is that I really am like?

I know you will probably say don't be what other want you to be, but it is hard you know? And it is scary to be yourself. Even though the reason why I am more myself then any of my friends is because I have NO ONE to show that I am pretty, or whatever. No guy ever looks my way with that look like man she is pretty. One of the only looks I have gotten from a guy is when that guy thinks that I am not looking, and he looks at me and wrinkles up his nose like he smelled something bad.

I have people every day say somthing about how bad or how greasy my hair looks (even though it isn't). And one time my leg brushed agains my best friends arm and she looked at me and said, "Man, you need to shave more often." I said shut-up, but I was thinking I SHAVED LAST NIGHT!!! OH MY GOD WHAT DOES THIS WORLD WANT FROM ME?!?!?!

That is just some of my worrys but I am going to have to go now because my dad is going to come and check on me in a little while

Dogs and Stuff

Right now I am sopposed to be studying for my Spanish, but I havn't wrote in a while, and I am sorry. Also Mike McEllen is over (he is the guy who gave me my laptop) and I have to take care of his dogs again. Not that it is a BAD thing I was just telling you.

My weekend is packed though (I have to dog-sit from friday to saturday). Saturday I am going to my friend Amy's Bat Mitzvah, and on Sunday I am going to the beach with Rick (my dad's friend) and is ex-wife Martha (which happens to be my moms name) and their daughter (Jessica, 15 ish...) and I THINK their two sons Cody and Brian (both in their 20s or older).

My Spanish Final is Friday I am TOTALLY going to bomb it. I am horrible in Spanish, but I do know how to say bitch, bastard, fuck, and mother fucker in spanish. Isn't that sad? That I barley know how to say "Help! Stop that theif!" but I can (kind of) cuss someone out in spanish.

Okay I have to go my mom is getting suspisous (that is not how you spell it but what ever).... ADIOS AMIGOS!!!

Name

I am also changing my name because of my last post.....

My name is NOT Lyra, you can call me that for now. I just choose the name because I love the triolgy of 'His Dark Materials', and if you don't know what that is then I will give you a hint. The first book name is 'The Golden Compass'.

Brownies

Today, I thought I would do something nice for my mom by making brownies for her because I ignored her when she asked if I wanted to yesterday (and plus today was my parents anniversery).

So I started and when my dad found out that I was cooking he ran to see that I wasn't burning down the house (not that I am a bad cook, it is just that I don't cook often). And keep on looking over my shoulder, that is one thing that I am insane about I HATE people looking over my should it drives me crazy.

I started to get a little mad, and we had this agruement about if the oven doesn't heat up fully. I just said I am going to set the oven by what the box says and my dad went balistic. Just because I did what I thought was the thing that I was supposed to do. I mean I could understand that what I did MIGHT have made him feel ignored but not enough so you go around yelling and kicking stuff.

Then he wouldn't let me cut it when I was supposed to because he thought I would eat some but I wasn't going to and I TOLD him so. So since I didn't cut it got stuck to the side of the pan and I had to hack at them to BARELY get them out, and the ones that I did get out was all deformed. I was made and sad. I was mad because I was going to give some to julie because she had been feeling bad, but the brownies looked so deformed that I would have felt embaresed to take them to Julie. I was sad because that was my first bach of brownies that I have made BY MYSELF and dad screwed it up.

I have to go now, a) because my internet isn't that great b) is because Julie wants to watch "The Great Debaters."

Lonestar/other stuff

oh my gosh I am so nervous about this BIG project that is due tomorrow. I am done with all of it but we are going to present it and THAT is what I am nervous about.

My mom told me to go iron my dress (not a really good idea, because I REALLY don't know how to iron just kind-of ish...) and I think I was doing a good job on it and stuff, but I had the TV on and I get destracted easily. So I was holding the iron but it tipped to far foward, and water spilled all over the carpet. I am thinking Oh, that wasn't a good move, oh well it'll dry. I went back to my attempted ironing. I looked back at the spot on the floor and I looked at my iron and I thought, I better I could dry it up faster if I ran this iron over it. So I did, then it started to smell bad so I stopped. Then I got my collar and started ironing IT. The carpet up there is apparently rather dirty, and I got all this dirt on the collar that I am going to weir for the prentation. So that is what has been happening lately.

Right now my parents are watching this movie called "The Atlanic Ocean", and I don't have any homework because I have finished my lonestar project. So I thought that it would be good to type here. Since I didn't type yesterday, because I finished my Lonestar yesterday.

I say 'so' to much don't I?

Right now I am on my home computer.

I am missing a Spanish test tomorrow because of the presentation. That is VERY good.

I am now bored so I am going to go on Runescape now.

the first blog

i am not going to go on and on about how i have no idea what is going on. That i just created a blog for the heck of it.

I am blogging from my laptop that doesn't really have that great of internet connection, that is why I am here because my computer is being REALLY slow on runescape and I have to do somthing.

Another reason why I thought I would do this is because my diary on that thing called Notebook is getting rather boring, BUT when I can't blog my stuff directly here I will type it there and then later when I get the chance (probably on night, like here).

Things that I have to do to get my blog all nice and fancy (ish) #1 change my username from illie-ma to my name Mattie. #2 fill out that thing that asks you those question thinges if they are not already filled out #3 other stuff that is not coming to mind right now

You might find out that I am a bit strange. I am ADHD even if my parents are in denial even though my therpist proved that I am (yes I actually do have a therpist). But I guess that is good that they are in denial because then my mom would TOTALLY want to put me a Ritalin.

There is a bug flying around on my screen....

Other stuff that you might want to know about me. Urrmmm..... Well.... I am thinking about becoming Wiccan. I am 12 going on 13 (June 16, 1995).... that is all I can think about right now....

Well bye i am going to publish this then get to work on the things that I said I was going to do.

Stupid bug.... IT IS STILL FLYING AROUND ON MY SCREEN!!! it is annoying....